How mindfulness introduced Mr. Dreams and Ms. Reality together

There's nothing wrong with a little reality check when you've been dreaming up a storm trying to make things happen. Although it can feel like a sting from hell and a bitch slap in the face, it's more than okay to be in that state! In fact I would be questioning you if you say you never had a moment like that!

The golden nugget we all are reaching for can either blind us to our obstacles or make us extremely aware, so much that we carry them in our backs as we continue walking towards the end result. If you're someone who picks that shit up along the way, don't sweat it, you my friend just need a little mindset switch.

Here's the thing, the feelings you have about your reality has nothing to do with me or Jane doe down the street. Whatever is going on outside of you, can only be interpreted by you within you! Get that? In a nutshell it isn't  your reality, but your perception of reality. Should I re-write that again?

We all walk around in this multidimensional layer of perception and reality everyday. Unless we utilize the power of language in our environment and mastering our mind, we can never really assume much, other than how much of an ASS we're acting. :-) 

For example, I had a goal set to achieve pertaining to my business. As I'm taking actions, I start to see questionable events that made me 2nd guess myself. As I felt the stinging and confusion, I had to learn how to "still" my brain to see what my next action should be. I meditated, I sat quietly, I didn't really allow myself to become distracted. I wanted to get to bottom rather than wasting time trying to bury any feelings of unease. I wanted to get rid of it. So there I sat! Eventually I was being tugged by my 2 year old to go and play cars! So I did, I was present for my son despite, my unease.

You cannot control what is around you, but you can surely be master of your own mind and change direction.

The thing is, If I didn't possible misjudgment could have made me quit or take on negative thoughts to what I was doing. I didn't want that. A couple of hours later I realized everything was going to be okay no matter what the results.  I love the saying that Wayne Dyer mentions in his talks about "Having a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing", it's so very useful. You cannot control what is around you, but you can surely be master of your own mind and change direction. In my situation, I was worrying for no reason because later that day my goal was finally achieved. I just misinterpreted what the hell was going on! The funny thing is, remember when I just sat and processed? Well I had already felt peace with what I thought might be happening, so I entertained another wonderful possible direction that I was equally excited about. Talk about living in abundance! I had something great going on in one hand, with another great idea sitting there on the other hand just patiently waiting for me when I needed it! THIS IS MINDFULNESS MY FRIENDS.  

My dear, don't let limiting thoughts get in the way of your true potential! Dream big and know your priorities. Having that moment everyday to staying mindful and quiet is a practice that can take you further than you thought. It will take you to peace when your trying to cope with the "shit" that happens along the way. These struggles are nothing but a way of understanding your true nature. Don't be afraid of it. Be kind to yourself, seek support when you can, but most importantly believe and trust in your inner heart to get through it. It's possible to close the gap between your dreams and reality.

It has always been in you

Although there are things in life we cannot explain, we can rest assured that the answer will come to us when we are silent. I don't know why my best friend and love had to pass away or why he had to have cancer, but what I do know is that before him I thought I was going to die alone and unhappy. I thought nobody would ever love me. I thought that all the shame and guilt I held onto was going to be who I was going to be. I thought I was fat, ugly, sluty, and a has been.

This was my reality at the time. I had a wonderful way of keeping this away from the outside world. I walked through life with a smile that any believed I was strong and courageous. Although I would only tell part of the truth of went on, in everyone's eyes I was a female veteran who went through hell and came out standing.

But was I brave? I didn't feel like it. With all the thoughts I had about myself inside, I felt as if I was a fraud. I couldn't agree with anyone else about what they saw in me. Bravery? Heh whatever. I held on so tight to what guys would say about me when I was in the military. Like a desperate child who just wanted to belong and be loved, I grasped tightly to what was shown to me as a female soldier. I wish I understood that all the chatter in my head really wasn't mine and that it came from other's wishes not to be in pain anymore. My surroundings at Ft. Riley were nothing but a bunch of lost souls who couldn't even bare to look at themselves in the mirror. Everyone had every excuse to be shitbags on a daily basis. COMING FROM THIS PLACE MADE ME FEEL HOMELESS, DIRTY, AND AFRAID. I felt like a throw away junkie or something.

Not my Scotty! He was completely different. He was a man who stood in his own light despite what others thought. Sure he was human, he has doubts, negative thoughts, and challenges. There were parts of him that wanted to be unraveled and gawked at! He had the kindest heart, but he also had an assertive and aggressive nature to himself. He didn't like to see unjust things happen around him. Go figure he was a libra! LOL But together we walked through life moving forward as I dragged that pass with us as he dragged his own.

He was such a beautiful man, helped to me to see my potential, but for me that's all that it was. Just potential. I was still reluctant to see what he saw in me. I was only able to catch glimpses of it now and then. I had always felt my void for sure. How can someone who thought so poorly of herself stand boldly now with fervor when her "hero" left her "alone" with 2 kids?

She can because she always had it in herself. Sometimes we are pushed to wake up. This is my reality. I continue asking questions, and I continue playing my life out on this earth. But this time I can see a little bit more clearly now. So when you stand in your convictions of all the "I CAN'Ts" in your life, I asked that you look deeper and trust yourself to know who you are and what you want out of life. Just as Marie Forleo says, "Everything is figuureoutable".